What I'm Most Afraid Of.......

and letting it go to build a better life

The thing that keeps me up at night or leaves me staring at the black nothingness of the ceiling at 2:00am when I wake up for no reason is not “making it” in business and being forced back into my old soul and time sucking JOB that will leave my son in daycare for more hours each week than I get to be with him.

When I had a child, my intention was to be there for him always, every day, to raise him as I wanted. To just BE THERE with him. My ultimate goal in life and everything I had worked for leading up to having him - at the ripe old age of 43 - was to be a stay at home mom. It was all I wanted + dreamed of.

When shit hit the fan in my life, I was faced with an unexpected divorce after discovering my husband’s infidelity, a drained bank account (he left me with $270.00) and no work to go back to when I was half way through maternity leave. Trying to grieve a life that was no longer going to be anything like what I had planned + dreamed was excruciatingly painful. Everything I had worked SO HARD for all those years was flushed down the toilet like the tub shroom and toy cookie my son happily sent down there last Friday night….(“Mommy, I flushed the tub thingy down the toilet and it went round and round and down!!” - the start of my three day long weekend).

I didn’t know what the fuck to do! I scrambled! I cried (while hiding in the closet or under the covers so my son didn’t see). Trying to find money + daycare + a new life. In the end, there was only one option that seemed to check all the boxes I needed to check to make this nightmare turn around. I took the leap to work for myself in the one thing I am passionate about (other than being a mom): helping people.

But my biggest fear? Failing.

It has not been easy. The truth is, I know shit about branding myself and the time commitment of even that has been so much more than I imagined. Let alone trying to market ME (am I the only one who struggles with this crap?). It’s taken so much more time and even more tears to get here than I ever imagined. This shit is HARD.

But you know what? In the process, I found ME in my business. I’m shaking off all the indoctrinated BS that I have to be something or someone I’m not when it comes to my work. I have long let my freak flag fly in my personal life but kept ME hidden in ALL forms of business.

Even at my old jobs there was some kind of professional image box I felt + believed I needed to fit myself into (might work for some contortionists but sure as hell doesn’t wok for me). It’s damn scary to shed that belief and let the world see ME in all my conspiracy theorist, foul-mouthed, introverted, people-loving (but only one at a time…remember *introvert*) glory. To be VULNERABLE.

BUT it’s only fair I put myself out there as authentically as possible since I ask my clients to be honest and vulnerable with me too. What kind of hypocrite would I be if I’m NOT doing that? Especially in my work. It’s f’ing SCARY AS SHIT to let someone into your inner world whether it’s emotions or money (and let’s be real - those two are connected) and be seen for WHO I AM.

Most of us seem to have this stupid idea that we have to have everything sorted out and perfect in all parts of our lives, money included, before we can share where we are. What a load of crap! The whole reason we reach out for help with things is because we can’t possibly know it all and be good at everything. I reached out for help with branding (thank you @drebeltrami for saving my life + business there) just like people reach out to me for help optimizing their money flow. But I can only do that when people are brutally and unabashedly HONEST with where they are. And I know how hard that is. I’ve lived in that hell-hole after my separation. Embarrassed to tell anyone how deep the debt pile really was.

Why do we think we need to be so damn INDEPENDENT and do it all ourselves? We are INTERDEPENDENT as a species. So let’s HELP EACH OTHER without all the bluff and bluster. Let’s all be REAL.

Right before launching, I had a job offer with a major company, the biggest one in my country, doing what I do now. I was tempted. It seemed like an easier path than the struggle of self-employment. Enough money to scrape buy and the lure of bonuses. I turned it down because the hours were TERRIBLE. Ten to twelve hour days during the week plus a couple Saturdays a month. I couldn’t do it. The thought of missing the toddler years, missing all the growing, discovering and little moments with my boy, my world, CRUSHED ME.

So I made a choice to go it alone as a Solopreneur. To try to find a balance between the time I so desperately wanted to spend with my son and the money we desperately needed to pay bills.

Know what sucks about banks? They only lend you money when you DON’T need it. And I needed it. I needed a lot of it. To live. To keep the roof over our heads and food in our bellies. To start my business. No bank would lend me money with no guaranteed income to pay it back. No bank would HELP us.

I was TERRIFIED I wouldn’t be able to make it on my own. But I did. I’m incredibly grateful I started working a different kind of money system a few years earlier - it saved us! It’s why I am soooo passionate about what I do. I realized then how valuable my family banking system was - it became our financial lifeline for MONTHS.

Because I had changed what I was doing financially a few years before, I COULD get that loan from my own pool of capital, not a bank, without having to apply (beg really) or even ask. I just filled in a form and the money was in my account.

The best part? I didn’t have to pay it back until I could afford to. No payments AT ALL unless I had the money. Everything was on MY terms. It took a huge weight off my shoulders at a time I couldn’t handle more stress.

Having that security and control over my financial position was a feeling like no other. I KNEW I had to help spread the knowledge about this and help other families have the same financially stress-free life they only dream about, without needing to make more money or put what they have at risk.

BUT it takes a true mindset shift to see it. To uncover the layers of trickery and lies we are force fed to keep the banks rich and us scraping by. And changing your mindset can be HARD even when you want to do it.

The overwhelm. The conflicting advice. The constant ICKY sales pitches. Being so damn burnt out you don’t have time or energy to even TRY learning something new, let alone sift though a shit-ton of BS to find “THE THING” that actually works for you and delivers on its promises. We’ve all been down THAT road before.

I don’t expect you to believe right away this will be different - but I’m going to prove it. That’s where the idea of this newsletter was born: to SHOW you how thinking differently and rejecting the crap-ola we’ve swallowed for far too long can really, truly make a difference.

Through the lens of experiences and math (don’t groan I’ll be doing all that part for you-the nerd in me loves this stuff), you’re going to see there are options to the standard financial advice you didn’t even know about, that the banks are certainly never going to tell you, and your financial planner doesn’t understand.

Real financial stability can NEVER be built on a system whose foundation is RISKY. Your foundation needs to be solid, and that is what I’m going to show you is possible. Then you can decide if it makes more sense than what you do now and if it feels right for YOU.

If any of this resonates and you’re even remotely curious about how I did this, how I survived financially despite having my entire world crumble overnight, stick around for a fresh perspective. I’ll be sharing ways to keep more of your money and make it work for you when you need it most - insights you won’t get from the “guru’s.”

Get ready to learn some hard realities *cough* truth-bombs* about how money and the system really works, the lies we’ve been told and ultimately how we can work together to make things better for our families and everyone else by simply doing things a little differently.

I won’t be afraid to fail or be vulnerable anymore in efforts to share wth you what’s saved my life.

So hop on the subscribe button and join me on this Hot-Dog Cart Era of Business: Truth-Bombs and Toddlers - the newsletter.

I can’t wait to see where this takes us together.

Becky “truth is my superpower” Webster

P.S. If you made it through all that and decided to hop on the newsletter, please send me an email and tell me what resonated with you or what you scares you too. I’d love to see YOUR name in my inbox, not just the other way around.